Thursday, June 4, 2015

#AmWriting #OrAmI

I'm ridiculously overwhelmed...

Wire - promo stuff
Click - revisions
Murmur- outline
Seek - interview, outline
Project to finish with KS Haigwood
Very expensive and time consuming trip to Post Office
Committed to Memory - re-write from 3rd POV, because apparently it is beyond me to write in 1st person.  Problem is, I'm 25K words into it, a little late for me to just now figure out it's not working.
Endless amount of administrative stuff - interviews, agreements, publicizing junk, etc.

This week has been a total bust.  2 days of mowing my mother's lawn, which really shouldn't have taken that long, a funeral that I wouldn't have missed for the world, my son's eighth birthday, end of school year hooplah, etc.

The problem is, I can't get back on track.  I don't even know how at this point, and I'm starting to mess things up.  For example, I have a bookbub add running in the UK tomorrow, and spent two hours this morning on the phone with various departments at Amazon because the pricing was wrong on the book.  The waste of it was, I was trying to correct the price on the wrong damn book.

And I'm letting things slide that I shouldn't be.

And it's not going to get any better, because the kids are about to be out of school for the summer, so quiet time at my house will be non-existent.

A old wound was opened fresh yesterday when I ran across a packet of baby pictures of myself yesterday, where I'm not named anything but 'baby' in my not-so doting grandmother's handwriting.  I'm forty years old and re-visiting long buried memories of inadequacy as seen through the eyes of people that have been dead for years.

I try not to be negative in my blog posts or social media, but it's getting really hard.  There's so much negativity around me that it's starting to wear on me, it's affecting my work, and I don't know how to fix it.

So, that's what's going on with me right now.  Overwhelmed, depressed, and feeling extremely negative.  Yay me!

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